The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex

Tell us the title:

Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex

Who penned this work?:

Mary Roach

How did this piece find it's way to your nightstand?:

I picked it up at Barnes & Noble after reading 3 pages in the store and laughing hysterically.  To be forewarned: If you buy this in person in a small conservative town, the clerk will look at you like you are a heathen. 

Number of pages:

303

Time passed from start to finish?:

About a week and a half

Describe the cover:

Light blue background with a microscope looped through the word "bonk" in bright yellow letters.  There are also two small people making out in the tray of the microscope. 

In what section of the bookstore would a reader find this?:

Ooh good question!  Non-fiction... science, humor, relationship advice? (sort of kidding on the last one)

Summary of the basic plot:

An in-depth look at the science of sex, essentially.  Mary Roach covers a variety of topics, many of them common arguments or misconceptions, and uses science to try to gain answers.  She provides references from a wide variety of texts and interviews, and even volunteers for a study or two herself!

Background information on the story/author:

Roach is also the author of Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers and Spook: Science Tackles the Afterlife.

What did you think of it? (your general response, what you liked or didn't like, what you learned, anything else you want to share about it):

I really loved the author's open and blunt honesty, as well as her use of wit and humor to make it easier to discuss topics that typically make people rather uncomfortable.  Roach uses a tremendous amount of footnotes to sneak in her humorous tidbits, which makes me feel like we're watching a film about the topic and she keeps leaning over to whisper her thoughts.  She's a great writer, so the whole things flows smoothly.  I laughed a lot, but I also learned a lot and didn't have to feel awkward about it.  

Which page was your favorite? Share why:

Impossible to choose!

If the story was made into a movie, who would you cast as the main characters?

Yeah...not that much of a relevant question here, but I guess that the plot line of her researching all of this could be made into a pretty funny movie.  I'd cast Cameron Diaz as the author. And Jason Bateman as her husband, who continues to get roped into her experiments. Actually that would be a great movie!

Share a quote that was worth reading twice. Explain why:

"Unattached hiccuppers were advised that 'masturbation might be tried.' *Or, if they are followers of sixteenth-century naturalist Li Shih-chen, sun-dried, powdered wolf epiglottis.  Li's hiccup remedy, found in the Chinese Materia Medica, is probably quite effective, for in the time it takes to track a wolf and sun-dry its epiglottis, even the most stubborn case of hiccups will invariably have passed."

            Choose your rating:
          - Changed. My. Life.
          - I laughed, I cried, I want you to read it
          - A definite page-turner
          - Good to check out but don't spend the cash.
          - Why did I waste my weekend on this?
          - A disgrace to paper everywhere

 Flip to page 2, 22, or 202. Share the 7th sentence on the page: 

"My point is that if you want to understand human sexual response, then studying animals is probably not the most productive way to go about it."

Before Liz Lemon...

Tell us the title: Bossypants

Who penned this work?: Tina Fey

How did this piece find it's way to your nightstand?: While listlessly roaming through Costco, I saw this book and snuck it into the cart, under some bread.

Number of pages: 275

Time passed from start to finish?: About 3 seconds

Describe the cover: A lovely picture of Tina herself with hairy man-arms and a nice blue background.

In what section of the bookstore would a reader find this?: Biography, humor

Summary of the basic plot: Tina Fey's life story, essentially... told with the tone you would expect...utter hilarity.  On a more serious note, however, I was actually really impressed with the honesty she presented in terms of herself as a mother and a woman in the showbiz industry, an industry where it is hard to be either of those.

Background information on the story/author: Bossypants essentially explains how Tina Fey got to where she is, the dues she paid, the awkwardness of who she really is, and the underlying reasons why we all love her :)

What did you think of it? (your general response, what you liked or didn't like, what you learned, anything else you want to share about it): I loved it!  Except maybe for the outbursts of laughter in public places while reading it, but that's just because I don't like when people think I'm crazy.  It provided a good amount of *dishing* that we all desire from celebrity biographies, plenty of humor, and a nice dose of honesty that was refreshing.  Also, I'm just fond of women who curse a lot, because it makes me feel less alone in that tendency.

Which page was your favorite? Share why: Actually, the entire 3-page chapter entitled "The Mother's Prayer for Its Daughter", including the stanza: 

"And when she one day turns on me and calls me a Bitch in front of Hollister, 

Give me the strength, Lord, to yank her directly into a cab in front of her friends,

For I will not have that Shit.  I will not have it."

If the story was made into a movie, who would you cast as the main characters?: Sarah Palin clearly would have to play Tina Fey.  Otherwise, since most of her friends are celebrities anyway, let's just have them play themselves.

Share a quote that was worth reading twice. Explain why: Oh please, where do I begin?  

1. "As weird as the night's events had been, I couldn't help but be excited by the fact that I had climbed a mountain.  I never would have thought I could do that.  I think someone should design exercise machines that reward people with sex at the end of their workouts, because people will perform superhuman feats for even the faint hope of that."

2. "So my unsolicited advice to women in the workplace is this.  When faced with sexism or ageism or lookism or even really aggressive Buddhism, as yourself the following question: 'Is this person in between me and what I want to do?' If the answer is no, ignore it and move on.  Your energy is better used doing your work and outpacing people that way.  Then, when you're in charge, don't hire the people who were jerky to you."

3. "I feel about Photoshop the way some people feel about abortion.  It is appalling and a tragic reflection on the moral decay of our society...unless I need it, in which case, everybody be cool."

Choose your rating:
          - Changed. My. Life.
          - I laughed, I cried laughed some more, I want you to read it
          - A definite page-turner
            -Good to check out but don't spend the cash.
            - Why did I waste my weekend on this?
            - A disgrace to paper everywhere

Flip to page 2, 22, or 202. Share the 7th sentence on the page: "Did we dare disappoint Frank the Doorman and Robert De Niro?"

A memoir of survival in Darfur

Tell us the title: 

Tears of the Desert

Who penned this work?: 

Halima Bashir (with Damien Lewis)

How did this piece find it's way to your nightstand?: 

It was a Christmas gift from my lovely sister

Number of pages: 

313

Time passed from start to finish?: 

About a week

Describe the cover: 

An earthy deep red frames a pensive and reflective picture of the author.

In what section of the bookstore would a reader find this?: 

Memoir/Biography

Summary of the basic plot: 

This is the memoir of a young woman and her unique childhood and life experience with the war in Sudan.

Background information on the story/author:

Halima was the daughter of a cattle herder in the Zaghawa tribe in the Sudanese desert.  Her family was relatively wealthy, and she therefore had the opportunity to receive a formal education and become a doctor.  Having to flee the country because of her involvement in the conflict, she now lives in England with her husband and son. 

What did you think of it? (your general response, what you liked or didn't like, what you learned, anything else you want to share about it):

You can't read a story like this and not be moved by it, in my opinion.  This woman was born the same year as my sister, and in her lifetime she experienced a brutal war, vicious rape, discrimination, the loss of family, isolation, and the emotional trauma of being a refugee.  I'm constantly amazed at the way people like Halima, who have experienced such intense situations at such young ages, continue to persevere, and their ability to present their stories without self-pity.  She is many things worth admiring and standing in awe of: a woman, a doctor, a mother, a survivor... 

Apart from this, there were a few things I found interesting.  First, as always surprises me, is the way that the local people from these small villages and remote areas treat each other.  Halima's father had a vehicle, and as he was driving her to town to attend school, he *of course* gave as many people as possible a ride so they would not have to walk.  This seemed to be pretty customary, to offer help like that.  On one such trip, they got a flat tire.  Halima tells how before they could even make a move, the male passengers were removing the tire and replacing it.  They wouldn't even allow Halima's father to help.  I always have to wonder: would that happen here?  I'd say no for the US as a whole, but yes for the town/state where I'm from.

Another fascinating part of Halima's story was her journey to become a physician.  In her village, people believed very strongly in traditional medicine, spiritual healing, and medicinal herbs and plants.  It was very interesting to read about her experience in blending these traditional treatments and beliefs with the traditional hard science of modern medicine.  There were things she realized weren't valid, and other beliefs she held to very strongly.  I can see how the combination of these approaches could make her a very good physician both in her home country but also abroad.  Medicine in the US is very hard, angular, and ruled by logic and science, leaving little room for the spiritual, natural, mystical.  Perhaps that is a pitfall? 

Which page was your favorite? Share why:

I didn't appear to mark the page or pages involved with this part of the story, but when Halima was in school in the city she experienced a lot of discrimination for being a black African in a school primarily filled with Arab girls.  One particular instance, she was punished unfairly for something another girl was responsible for.  Despite extreme punishment, verbal attacks, physical lashings, and much condescending talk, she stood up for herself.  I loved the visual of this young girl standing up for herself in the face of adults, with no one to back her up at the time.  That took amazing strength and resoluteness of character, and perhaps those traits helped prepare her for survival later in life.  

If the story was made into a movie, who would you cast as the main characters?

I have No. Idea.  Stories like this I can't really make those calls.  The only person I see as the main characters are the people themselves.  It's hard to cast a person in the role of a real individual.

Share a quote that was worth reading twice. Explain why:

I have two of them:

 "'If it wasn't for us black Africans the Arabs couldn't feel so superior,' I fumed.  'They need us -- they need someone to keep down, to keep under them.'"

This is something Halima said, and I was struck by the truth of it.  Not just in the context of the conflict in Sudan, but world-wide.  Go to any country and you will see groups of people cast into conflict over superiority of one race or religion or appearance or background over another.  Why humans do this I'm not sure, but it happens the world over, in every different dynamic possible.  We appear to feel some need to not only define ourselves by different groups we fit into, but then to rank those.  Is it possible we're all just horribly insecure? 

[upon returning to her village after it was suddenly raided and her family members were either killed or had fled]  

"I returned to our yard as if I were in a dream.  I dug up the valuables from where I knew they were hidden and stuffed them into my pocket.  I took a black plastic carrier bag, loaded into it a handful of dried dates, a spare tope, and a thick robe.  Then I said my goodbyes to Kadiga's uncle.  I took one last look at my childhood home, turned away, and started walking.  I knew in my heart that I would never be returning to this place again."

This is all Halima took with her as she said goodbye to her childhood home for the unforeseeable future.  I felt it was such a striking moment, as she set off all alone, with no idea where she would end up or if she would ever see her family again.  It makes that bad day at work not seem like such a valid complaint.

Choose your rating:

Changed. My. Life.

I laughed, I cried, I want you to read it

A definite page-turner
  Good to check out but don't spend the cash.
Why did I waste my weekend on this?
A disgrace to paper everywhere

~ Flip to page 2, 22, or 202. Share the 7th sentence on the page. 

"There's no way we're leaving empty-handed."

Aspergers, patient mother, and murder. Dun dun dunnn

The title: 

House Rules

Who penned this work?:

Jodi Picoult

How did this piece find it's way to your nightstand?:

I'd heard she was a good author.  That's all there is to it.

Number of pages:

532

Time passed from start to finish?:

Two weeks, maybe?

Describe the cover:

A boy crouching near a lake, writing in the sand.

In what section of the bookstore would a reader find this?:

Fiction  

Summary of the basic plot:

Jacob is an 18 year old with Aspergers, he has a 15 year old brother, and his mother who works from home.  He's obsessed with forensic criminology, and likes to crash crime scenes to tell the police what happened to the victim.  It's all harmless until a victim is someone he's close to, and the crime scene makes every clue turn into making him into a suspect.  So most of the book is finding out what really happened to the victim.  Each chapter is from the perspective of a different character, which I thought was neat.

Background information on the story/author:

She is also a #1 bestselling author, who lives in New Hampshire with her husband and three kids.  Is that good enough?  

What did you think of it? (your general response, what you liked or didn't like, what you learned, anything else you want to share about it):

I actually liked it.  I wanted to turn the pages to find out what happens next! I didn't know much about aspergers, so it was neat to learn about something. 

Which page was your favorite? Share why:

I need to remember to keep track of that kind of stuff when i'm reading. because i couldn't tell ya. 532 pages is a lot to go back and find out which was my favorite.

If the story was made into a movie, who would you cast as the main characters?

i bet leonardo dicaprio, back in the day when he was in gilbert grape, would have been good as jacob.  I don't know many 18 year old actors that could pull off that right now.  

Share a quote that was worth reading twice. Explain why:

Again, i forgot to take notes, but looking one up online, here's a good one:

"I don't know what he means by that, but I nod and smile at him. You'd be surprised at how far that response can get you in a conversation where you are completely confused."   It shows how Aspergers works in his mind.  The line before that was most likely a metaphor, and Aspie's take everything 100% literally.  

           Choose your rating:

          - Changed. My. Life.
          - I laughed, I cried, I want you to read it
          - A definite page-turner
          - Good to check out but don't spend the cash.
          - Why did I waste my weekend on this?
          - A disgrace to paper everywhere

Flip to page 2, 22, or 202. Share the 7th sentence on the page. 

It's the child who's supposed to cry, and the mom who makes it all better, not the other way around, which is why mothers will move heaven and earth to hold it together in front of their own kids.

I can't come up with a creative title for this waste of time book

The title: 

Fearless Fourteen

Who penned this work?:

Janet Evanovich

How did this piece find it's way to your nightstand?:

At Target every Tuesday we all head to electronics to see what the new releases are.  This author had a new book come out and my manager said she had read a different book by her and said it was "hilarious." So I head to the library, which is the smallest library in the world, and find a book by her.

Number of pages:

310

Time passed from start to finish?:

Three weeks or so, only reading it at work on my breaks. 

Describe the cover:

It's hot pink.  With the author and the title on it. Boring.

In what section of the bookstore would a reader find this?:

Fiction  

Summary of the basic plot:

(I had to steal this from a website because I couldn't come up with anything good to say)

bounty hunter Plum finds herself caring for a gaming-obsessed teenage boy, and embroiled in the middle of a bungled bank robbery.

Background information on the story/author:

She is somehow a #1 best selling author based on the books that are about this bounty hunter.  I'm pretty sure I won't read any more of these so called #1 books. 

What did you think of it? (your general response, what you liked or didn't like, what you learned, anything else you want to share about it):

obviously I've stated my dislike for this book enough.  It felt like i was listening to a boring acquaintance tell me a story, that really doesn't have a point, and even if it does have a point, it's a very very boring story that I try and find a way to get out of listening.  But since I can't do it, I listen to the very terrible end. 

Which page was your favorite? Share why:

Umm the last page. Because it meant I was done. 

If the story was made into a movie, who would you cast as the main characters?

Hmm who is an actress I don't really like?  Probably the mom from Weeds because I've watched 9 episodes of the show and still don't like her.  She could do this stupid role. 

Share a quote that was worth reading twice. Explain why:

Sorry, I can't do that to anyone.  Especially myself, opening that book again.

           Choose your rating:

          - Changed. My. Life.
          - I laughed, I cried, I want you to read it
          - A definite page-turner
          - Good to check out but don't spend the cash.
          - Why did I waste my weekend on this?
          - A disgrace to paper everywhere

Flip to page 2, 22, or 202. Share the 7th sentence on the page. 

They are all stupid sentences.  I won't do it.

One Woman's Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia.

The title: 

Eat Pray Love

Who penned this work?:

Elizabeth Gilbert

How did this piece find it's way to your nightstand?:

Well, I first started reading it when I picked it up at Powell's for my boyfriend.  Then I got addicted to it (and half way through it) exactly at the time when I had to send it to him.  Luckily, my sister also received it as a gift for her birthday, so I may or may not have sneakily swiped it from her room for a week.  Pretty sure she had no idea, although now she knows. And now she'll say she knew the whole time. 

Number of pages:

334

Time passed from start to finish?:

About two weeks
 

Describe the cover:

'eat' written in pasta, 'pray' written in prayer beads, and 'love' written in flowers.  Not much else going on.

In what section of the bookstore would a reader find this?:

Based on my experience, Travel Writing.  Also sometimes in biography.
 

Summary of the basic plot:

(from the back): In her early thirties, Elizabeth Gilbert had everything a modern American woman was supposed to want - husband, country home, successful career - but instead of feeling happy and fulfilled, she felt consumed by panic and confusion.  This wise and rapturous book is the story of how she left behind all these outwards marks of success, and of what she found in their place.  Following a divorce and a crushing depression, Gilbert set out to examine three different aspects of her nature, set against the backdrop of three different cultures: pleasure in Italy, devotion in India, and on the Indonesian island of Bali, a balance between worldly enjoyment and divine transcendence.

Background information on the story/author:

Um, pretty sure the summary covered some of that.  The author is an award-winning writer, and in 2008 was named by Times magazine one of the one hundred most influential people in the world.  Basically, everyone loves her book and wants to be her friend.  And I don't blame them.
 

What did you think of it? (your general response, what you liked or didn't like, what you learned, anything else you want to share about it):

I understand why this book has been so popular, I really do.  The author is honest and open with us and herself, sometimes brutally so.  There's nothing preachy or didactic about this story...it truly is HER story and that's the reason she wrote it. I think the appeal is that she speaks to undeniable truths we all struggle with and want to understand.  She also speaks to the imperfect person we all feel like we are.  I love the way the book was laid out (with purpose and meaning), as well as the way she realized retrospectively some of the significant meaning behind numbers and letters involved in her journey.  I definitely want to read it again.  And of course, I'm now trying to figure out what My Word is.  (you'll see)
 

Which page was your favorite? Share why:

Page 274.  This is where we realize (or rather, the author realizes) the largest lesson of them all (a very cyclical one at that)...and someone else has to point it out to her.  By setting out to help yourself, you end up helping Tutti.  (you'll see)
 

If the story was made into a movie, who would you cast as the main characters?

Kinda beat me to the punch there, didn't ya, movie industry?  I haven't seen the movie so I can't really speak to how well they cast the characters.  I can easily see Julia Roberts being a good fit, however. 
 

Share a quote that was worth reading twice. Explain why:

"Sofie is Swedish and in her late twenties and so damn cute you could put her on a hook and use her as bait to catch men of all different nationalities and ages."  (made me laugh)

"How many people have I heard claim their children as the greatest accomplishment and comfort of their lives?  It's the thing they can always lean on during a metaphysical crisis, or a moment of doubt about their relevancy -- If I have done nothing else in this life, then at least I have raised my children well."  (reminded me of many significant people in my life)

"There's a cat who lives here who is enormously affectionate to me for the half hour every day before I feed him, then moans crazily the rest of the time like he's having Vietnam War flashbacks.  Oddly, I don't mind this."  (made me laugh)

"Before dawn the roosters for miles around announce how freaking cool it is to be roosters ('We are ROOSTERS!' they holler.  'We are the only ones who get to be ROOSTERS!')"  (made me laugh)

"And then I remember a story my friend Deborah the psychologist told me once.  Back in the 1980's, she was asked by the city of Philadelphia if she could volunteer to offer psychological counseling to a group of Cambodian refugees - boat people - who had recently arrived in the city.  Deborah is an exceptional psychologist, but she was terribly daunted by this task.  These Cambodians had suffered the worst of what humans can inflict on each other - genocide, rape, torture, starvation, the murder of their relatives before their eyes, then long years in refugee camps and dangerous boat trips to the West where people died and corpses were fed to sharks - what could Deborah offer these people in terms of help?  How could she possibly relate to their suffering?

'But don't you know,' Deborah reported to me, 'what all these people wanted to talk about, once they could see a counselor?'

It was all: I met this guy when I was living in the refugee camp, and we fell in love.  I thought he really loved me, but then we were separated on different boats, and he took up with my cousin.  Now he's married to her, but he says he really loves me, and he keeps calling me, and I know I should tell him to go away, but I still love him and I can't stop thinking about him.  And I don't know what to do...

This is what we are like.  Collectively, as a species, this is our emotional landscape.  I met an old lady once, almost one hundred years old, and she told me, 'There are only two questions that human beings have ever fought over, all through history.  How much do you love me? And Who's in charge?'  Everything else is somehow manageable."  (made me think, plus an interesting return to the start of my learning about people and the world through books)

           Choose your rating:

          - Changed. My. Life.
          - I laughed, I cried, I want you to read it
          - A definite page-turner
          - Good to check out but don't spend the cash.
          - Why did I waste my weekend on this?
          - A disgrace to paper everywhere

Flip to page 2, 22, or 202. Share the 7th sentence on the page. 

"My thoughts have become like old neighbors, kind of bothersome but ultimately rather endearing -- Mr. and Mrs. Yakkity-Yak and their three dumb children, Blah, Blah and Blah."

"The Apocalypse has never been funnier."

~ Tell us the title: GOOD OMENS

~ Who penned this work?: NEIL GAIMAN & TERRY PRATCHETT

~ How did this piece find it's way to your nightstand?: I DISCOVERED IT HIDING IN THE SHELVES AT BARNES & NOBLE AND REALIZED IT WAS ONE OF NEIL GAIMAN'S BOOKS THAT I DIDN'T ALREADY OWN (VERY RARE)

~ Number of pages: 412

~ Time passed from start to finish?: I READ THIS ONE SLOWLY, SIPPING IT LIKE A NICE WINE.  EVEN AT THAT, I'D SAY NO MORE THAN 2 WEEKS

~ Describe the cover: WHITE BACKGROUND WITH RED WRITING, AND A NICE HANDSOME DEMON LOUNGING AROUND.

~ In what section of the bookstore would a reader find this?: SCI-FI, APPARENTLY. 
~ Summary of the basic plot: "ACCORDING TO THE NICE AND ACCURATE PROPHECIES OF AGNES NUTTER, WITCH (THE WORLD'S ONLY COMPLETELY ACCURATE BOOK OF PROPHECIES, WRITTEN IN 1655, BEFORE SHE EXPLODED), THE WORLD WILL END ON A SATURDAY.  NEXT SATURDAY, IN FACT.  JUST BEFORE DINNER.  SO THE ARMIES OF GOOD AND EVIL ARE AMASSING.  ATLANTIS IS RISING, FROGS ARE FALLING, TEMPERS ARE FLARING.  EVERYTHING APPEARS TO BE GOING ACCORDING TO DIVINE PLAN.  EXCEPT A SOMEWHAT FUSSY ANGEL AND A FAST-LIVING DEMON - BOTH OF WHOM HAVE LIVED AMONGST EARTH'S MORTALS SINCE THE BEGINNING AND HAVE GROWN RATHER FOND OF THE LIFESTYLE - ARE NOT ACTUALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO THE COMING RAPTURE.  AND SOMEONE SEEMS TO HAVE MISPLACED THE ANTICHRIST..."

~ Background information on the story/author: THIS WAS THE FIRST TIME THESE TWO WROTE A BOOK TOGETHER.  TERRY PRATCHETT I'M NOT FAMILIAR WITH, BUT HE APPEARS TO BE A MORE HUMOR-INCLINED AUTHOR.  I'M CERTAIN HE BROUGHT MANY OF THE LAUGH OUT LOUD MOMENTS TO THE BOOK.  COMBINED WITH GAIMAN'S MASTERY OF WORDS, IT WAS AWESOME!

 
~ What did you think of it? (your general response, what you liked or didn't like, what you learned, anything else you want to share about it): I LOVED IT!!  I HAVE YET TO DISLIKE A NEIL GAIMAN BOOK, BUT THIS IS ONE OF THE TOP THREE EASILY (IF YOU CAN COUNT THE INTRODUCTION TO 'FRAGILE THINGS' A BOOK).  A PERFECT BALANCE OF HUMOR, WHIMSY, DRAMA, AND THOUGHT-PROVOKING IDEAS.

~ Which page was your favorite? Share why: THIS IS SO HARD!  WHEN I READ, IF I FIND A PAGE I LOVE, I EARMARK THE BOTTOM PAGE OF THE BOOK.  I CAN HARDLY CLOSE THIS ONE ANYMORE, SINCE NEARLY EVERY PAGE IS FOLDED OVER.  I'M GOING TO PICK ONE, AND GO WITH PAGE 56, WHERE CROWLEY IS REMINDING AZIRAPHALE JUST HOW LONG ETERNITY IS IN HEAVEN, (HAVING TO WATCH 'THE SOUND OF MUSIC' FOR ALL OF IT)

~ If the story was made into a movie, who would you cast as the main characters? CROWLEY IS GEORGE CLOONEY.  OR MAYBE HUGH LAURIE.  AZIRAPHALE IS MATT DAMON? MAYBE (THINKING OF HIM IN THE INFORMANT).  ANATHEMA IS BRITTANY MURPHY (SAD, SORRY, BUT SHE WOULD HAVE BEEN GREAT IN THAT ROLE).  AND... ADAM I HAVE NO IDEA. NEWT IS SOMEONE LIKE OWEN WILSON PERHAPS.

~ Share a quote that was worth reading twice. Explain why: I'M JUST GOING TO SHARE A FEW I LOVED... AND FOR YOUR SAKE, I'LL GET RID OF THE CAPS (SORRY, IT WAS A BAD IDEA, BUT ONCE I WAS HALFWAY THROUGH THIS REVIEW, I WASN'T GOING TO GO BACK AND CHANGE IT) 

"Anathema tried every method of search she could think of.  There was the methodical quartering of the ground.  There was the slapdash poking at the bracken by the roadside.  There was the nonchalant sidling up to it and looking out of the side of her eye.  She even tried the one which every romantic nerve in  her body insisted should work, which consisted of theatrically giving up, sitting down, and letting her glance fall naturally on a patch of earth which, if she had been in any decent narrative, should have contained the book."

(On Newt Pulsifer's crazy Japanese car, the Wasabi):

    "Newt had never actually seen another one on the road, despite his best efforts.  For years, and without much conviction, he'd enthused to his friends about its economy and efficiency in the desperate hope that one of them might buy one, because misery loves company.

    In vain did he point out its 823cc engine, its three-speed gearbox, its incredible safety devices like the balloons which inflated on dangerous occasions such as when you were doing 45 mph on a straight dry road but were about to crash because a huge safety balloon had just obscured the view.  He'd also wax slightly lyrical about the Korean-made radio, which picked up Radio Pyongyang incredibly well, and the simulated electronic voice which warned you about not wearing a seatbelt even when you were; it had been programmed by someone who not only didn't understand English, but didn't understand Japanese either.  It was state of the art, he said.  

    The art in this case was probably pottery."

"As he stared over the top of his map, a door in the saucer slid aside with a satisfying whoosh, revealing a gleaming walkway which extended automatically down to the road.  Brilliant blue light shone out, outlining three alien shapes.  They walked down the ramp.  At least, two of them walked.  The one that looked like a pepper pot just skidded down it, and fell over at the bottom."

~ Choose your rating:
          - Changed. My. Life.
          - I laughed, I cried, I want you to read it
          - A definite page-turner
          - Good to check out but don't spend the cash.
          - Why did I waste my weekend on this?
          - A disgrace to paper everywhere

~ Flip to page 2, 22, or 202. Share the 7th sentence on the page."The crowd drew nearer, one or two of its members a little uncertain as to whether they'd done the right thing, now they came to think about it."